1- You’re always late.
Somehow, time just doesn’t run naturally here. One moment you look at your watch and you have plenty of time.
The next you’re already late. What happened in the meantime?
2- Because of this, you always mentally add at least 2 hours for social meetings.
Even if you get there on time, no one will be there. Yep, probably not even the birthday fellow. I know a story of a girl who still hasn’t shown up to her own birthday party.
3- You genuinely think that 20º C/68º F is cold.
And you start using boots and scarfs and asking your friends over for a wine and cheese party.
4- You don’t publicly admit São Paulo is nice.
And when you do so, you get disapproving looks.
5- You take pictures of the Arpoador sunset even if it’s the 100th time you see it.
And you will probably upload it to Instagram with a cliché subtitle.
6- Even when it’s 40º C/104º F, you always carry a lightweight coat in your bag.
Just in case. Air-conditioned buses and metros can be freezing and we have zero tolerance to cold.
7- You call waiters by their names, or at least “amigo” or similar.
Yes, we are really friendly!
8- You use Havaianas anytime you can.
Informality is our trademark.
9- Even if you are just about to leave home, all plans are automatically suspended if it starts to rain.
You better check with your friends before leaving. You know what? Always do that, even if it’s not raining.
10- You plan traveling for Carnival, but you usually end up staying and having an awesome time.
After all, why waste the opportunity to see your boss or former teacher wearing Cinderella costumes?
11- You feel proud when you see someone watching our postcards views for the very first time.
And truly ashamed when you hear that someone got robbed or pickpocketed.
12- You hate malls or closed spaces in general.
You just feel so claustrophobic.
13- You make friends everywhere.
At the beach, on the train complaining about the poor service, while waiting in lines. Seriously, everywhere.
14- In summer, you go into a bank or a store just to refresh a bit and then go back out to the heat.
God bless air-conditioners.
15- You make fun of the traffic in São Paulo.
Even though you know ours is equally as bad. At least we have the views to admire from the car windows. See? I did it again!
16- You pay absurd rent fees.
When you hear of rent fees in other Brazilian cities, you start thinking about how much money you could save by moving. But then you stop, because you know you don’t want to live anywhere else.
* Written by me, but originally published in Matador Network